So I’ve not blogged for a couple of days purely because the last couple of days seem to of rolled into one long day..
Monday night the boy child decided somewhere between 1-1.30am to wake up for the day I tried everything humanly possibly to get him to go back to sleep, but he just wanted to play, pull my hair, do rolly pollys around his bed, and generally just be a little turd! By 5.15am I went down and woke chris so I could get a full 90 minutes sleep before getting up for the madness that was before school. Chris briefed the kids on mummy being very tired and her temper probably being very short. We should of learnt by now this is always a bad idea as it turns into a competition to see who can make mummy lose her shit first! (B won) the girls were generally just not doing as asked and she was walking around hitting people for… well just for shits and giggles to be honest! I battle with getting them dressed and to school as G has completely forgotten how to dress herself and R has decided she just can’t be arsed. B refuses to put her shoes and coat on and after being asked a million and twelve times add that to her behaviour in general to her behaviour this morning, I lose my temper (this rarely happens) I shout in the mum voice that only comes out when you’re in deep shit “just get your god damn shoes and coat on” I’m almost sure I heard my neighbours also rushing to get their shoes and coat on (sorry neighbours) . B looks at me in shock , she’s staring at me really confused. Anyone that knows B, knows she is stubborn as a shit stain in a cloth nappy and calmly replies back to me “no thankyou mummy” … now I’m torn she was polite but totally doing it to get a reaction. So I’m mad and pleased at the same time (patronising little madam)! So I get the kids out of the door and say to B “fine don’t wear your bloody shoes or coat you’ll get sore feet and cold, now come on we are going” she walks out the door no shoes or coat on un-phased. Part of me is pleased she knows her own mind the other part is fuming. A must be able to see me boiling (I can only assume I resemble the hulk transforming at this point) and steps In saying “come on B quickly let’s get your shoes and coat on before you get cold” and the little madam did just like that ! I want to scream “seriously” but don’t for a fear if I do I won’t stop and so I lock the door and off we go.
Get the girls to school and home with the small two the small boy demands his milk makers as usual although he’s been attached to them all pissing night, while B is shouting for breakfast. I multi task like a pro and make breakfast for them both while feeding him. They eat , my floor gets covered in fucking coco pops again today though I can’t be arsed the floor is (was) clean and so I pop his cereals back in his bowl and he chucks them everywhere again . At this point I’ve given up and am now watching him pick his coco pops up one at a time from the floor and eat them.. what the hell is wrong with my kids why would he rather eat from the floor than a bowl?! B gets dressed while I take the boy child to bed but today he’s decided a nap is off the cards! I’m sat feeding him in his room and I can hear the bathroom taps B is “bathing the baby” I shout to her to stop playing with the taps! She seems to listen an hour it took me to get the boy to sleep and me and B are doing puzzles before she decides she wants to play upstairs. So she heads upstairs and I do the dishes before I hear the boy wake! He normally sleeps for a good couple of hours but not today it had been 40 minutes! I go up and she’s in his fucking room “mummy I wanted to play with him” i walk away and call my mum before I really lose my temper they play for a bit before lunch although he is miserable as sin by 11am because he’s so tired.
1pm comes and my friend comes over and very possibly saved my sanity she plays with B while I feed the small boy child. 2pm my mum turns up. Thank the lord for these two people today! The kids are occupied with them and I just sit on the sofa not talking to anyone trying to figure out how the hell im gunna get through work later on so little sleep!
School pick up was interesting no matter how many times I told G not to run backwards she pays no attention until splat, down she goes. Normally I would be all .. oh no babe, are you ok? Do you need magic kisses? Today that didn’t happen (whoops) and she was met with “well if you’d of listened in the first place it wouldn’t of happened, come on get up we have to get A” in front of a bucket load of other parents, while R is looking at me puzzled as to where this reaction has come from. We get A and head home, G still upset about the knee that’s not even grazed and my absolute lack of sympathy. We get back and it’s all ok as she gets all the sympathy she needs from my mum and Joan. While I right now want to kiss them so much as they’ve cleaned the house for me :). Given how tired and miserable I am this has made my day so thankyou guys. I start dinner while asking the girls to get their pjs on three times before grandma asked and then they did she then makes home made sweets with them. While Joan occupies the small boy child. This is the first time i can remember I’ve not had five small people hassling me about when dinner will be ready, how school have starved them or needing my to wipe their arses. Dinners done and Joan heads home we sit and eat, well me, my mum and the girls do, the boy child as usual stares and shouts at his with no intention what so ever of eating it.
Chris walks in and informs us of an accident so I have to leave earlier for work and rush to get ready and out the door leaving him to get the kids to bed and bathed. I get home at 11.30, the kids are all sleeping , the house is a mess and chris is ill with a migraine I express and get ready to head to bed before he starts vomming and wakes the small boy child up… Wonderful ! I pass him some water and go sort the baby I don’t even know what time I finally got to bed I think about 1.30am until 3am when two girls wake I go settle them and at 3.30 the boy wakes again he didn’t go back to sleep until 5 :(. I get another hour and a half sleep before getting the small humans up for school. Chris is still throwing up into a bucket (beautiful vision hey)! He is in bed and that’s where he stays until 2.30pm meaning all day I have to try keep the smalls quiet. This task is always harder when you want them to be quiet! So I rush them up and ready as quick as I can and frankly do anything to make it easier and quieter , including getting three of them dressed, letting them watch TV (they don’t watch tv in the mornings normally) and letting them eat some of the jelly sweets they made the day before (yes you read that right it’s 7.15am and I’m bribing my kids with jelly). I get them to school and home with the younger two who eat their cereals relatively problem free bar the now normal ritual of covering the floor in cereals and get the small boy child to bed. I pull the sofa bed out and get some snacks and me and B cuddled up under a duvet watching telly for the entire time the boy is sleeping. When he wakes up it’s like he has been possessed by the devil! He is stropping left right and centre and I’m doing everything I can to keep him quiet and failing massively at this point B is not feeling the love so stropping because of the lack of attention she is getting (because obviously she never gets any haha). I find cake keeps them quiet for a few minutes so I can at least go for a pee.
2.30 I wake chris to watch them while I go to watch G’s assembly. (Which I’m pissed off at the school about as I only got told the day before) She was amazing bless her made me very proud even if she did spend half the time behind everyone else with the actions and picking her nose ! All of the kids did so well.
I get home and dinners on Chris is starting to feel better. We eat and he baths the kids before I do the daily nit check! Two of the girls need extra long checks because I found a couple in both of their hairs.. doing nit checks is the highlight of my fucking life (can you sense the sarcasm here), although to be fair there is something strangely satisfying with popping the ugly, crawly little fuckers! Chris puts B and G to bed and I spend over an hour trying to settle the boy child because R is doing her bloody usual come to me every three god damn seconds for something trivial and non important just so she can squeeze an extra or minute or two at a time onto her bedtime.. why the hell do kids even do that they’re shattered and miserable the next day! A goes up to bed herself as she is creeping for an extra ten minutes on her phone tomorrow.
I need wine now or a therapist I chose wine, because some days my life would probably send a therapist into therapy! I go to the fridge and we’ve got none just to make the last couple of days even better. So now I’m in a strop. Turn my notifications off on my phone and watch 12 episodes of hollyoaks to catch up as I’ve not had time to have a relaxed poo let alone watch hollyoaks lately! I ignore the housework and anything else that might need any sort of energy at all… Its amazing, it really is sitting and doing nothing at all. I express an head to bed. The night is a bit better the small boy wakes 3am and chris takes over at 5.30 the girls if they did wake I slept through them haha.
Thursday morning (this morning) was pretty uneventful Chris did most of the sorting of the kids because of how tired I am. I was however met with all the fucking housework and dishes I should of done last night (oh what a wonderful idea it was not to do anything last night) . I take the girls alongside my friends boy to school. Get home make the kids breakfast and then it gets interesting I go for my morning poo (what a twat I am) leaving them with their breakfast And this is what I came down to , This is B’s shit I’ve been caught and told off face !
How do they make so much mess in such a small amount of time! The boy decides he wants the milk makers and so I’m sat having to stare at this. I ask them to clean up a bit and this is what they bloody do ! I guess at least they’re kind of getting the coco pops in one place!
The boy is now in bed and B is claiming she wants to go so I’m going to attempt to get them to sleep before having to clean all this up. Thankfully they’re at nursery this afternoon so I get a full two hours to myself and as much as I love my kids, but as you have read it’s been and exhausting few days. And I cannot wait to drop them off and run home to enjoy and embrace every second of quiet.
On that note I hope you enjoyed my reality
See you soon