So we are a a week into half term. Now given my mind being fogged by tiredness I should not be aloud to make important decisions, as I set my hours to go from part time to full time on the first day of the Easter holidays. We’ve worked with it as with five kids we both need to work full time. Half terms with kids are a minefeild when you work takes weeks of planning, begging and organising all of which im shit at unless it’s under pressure or to do with work. (If someone could tell me how I manage to be super organised and relatively streesfree at work but not at home in half terms that would be great).
It’s been a hectic week to say the least.
I got the two small ones up, dressed and out the door for 7.45 to get them to nursery for 8 and my to work for 8.30am. Work have been amazing they understand that nursery doesn’t open until the moment my shift should start and so agreed for me to start half hour later Mondays and Thursdays. The three eldest stayed out Sunday night so I could work Monday. I worked a twelve hour shift then came home and chris had got the small ones from nursery , the older ones my mum had dropped off and all five were all in bed. I was shattered, but needed to express before I went to bed. No sooner had I finished expressing did the small boy child wake up and that was me I fed him and fell asleep doing so. I woke up on his bed and my phone was on his toot toot race track. Yes that’s right he had either not fallen asleep properly or had woken and gone for a play while I napped. I heard poor chris get up more than once with B and G.
The morning came and I think I’d had about 4 hours sleep in total. My friends girls came over early morning about 7.30 as we childcare share in the holidays to enable us to work and the kids not to miss out. So I help her and she helps me and it works really well :). All seven kids are eating breakfast (really bloody loudly) and I decide there and then I will see if we can get a bouncy castle as it’s a lovely day, and the noise outside in the garden is a lot better than the noise inside the house. In fairness the girls are good girls and mine just run off and play with them so it’s no different to just having mine. Message Alfie’s bouncy castles and ask if There is any chance they’ve one spare to rent for the day knowing full well it’s unlikely, but hoping they do….. Bingo, they’re so helpful and lovely, they have one available so I book it for the smalls to arrive around 10am. I don’t tell the kids because I can’t possibly bear them asking me every thirty seconds when it’s coming I’m too tired for that shit on repeat. I’m discussing with them how I’m going to pay as I’ve no cash on me and the post arrives (perfect timing) , a card from my nan with some money in for the kids I ask the kids if they’d rather put some of their pennies towards the bouncy castle or save it (yup bad mummy) They all agree to put towards the castle for them and their friends (it’s a hugely shocking experience) they never agree on anything let alone decide they want to share their money to get something for everyone. I’m filled with pride for how sensible they’re being (while trying to figure out who swapped them for someone else’s kids) I transfer the money I was going to use into savings for them.
The bouncy castle arrives at 9.15am (have I mentioned how amazing Alfie’s bouncy castles are) they arrived early knowing the kids are now excited because they’re now aware about the bouncy castle. I sign a waver to basically say if the kids fall off it’s not their fault (fair enough to be honest if a kid falls off though I’m not taking the blame either) they even throw in a couple free space hoppers (I honestly can’t thank Ian and Ali alenough). I sit the kids down and give them the usual rules I know they won’t listen to, no jumping on the sides, of the front, on eachother and be careful. The kids are amazed, over the moon and out in the garden while I clean breakfast stuff (not listening to the rules I set out) sighing seconds i had to go out to tell them to sit for a minute and remember the rules because B came in screaming that her and G had bumped heads while bouncing into each other on purpose. All the same They’re having so much fun and it’s lovely to see (obviously is now quiet inside too which is also amazing haha).
G asks if her friend H can come over so I call his dad and he comes over too, plus Another friend of mine is off uni , so now 8 kids turns to 11 as she comes over with her three small people. Normally I’d be pulling my hair out thinking about that many kids at mine, but this bouncy castle is hours of fun and they’re all playing beautifully if you exclude the petty little arguments. A good friend of mine also comes over to see us. We all relax in the garden while the kids play. I use the term relax loosely as one of the kids always wants a piss, drink, or something but they can’t remember what, regardless they’re having fun. They all have lunch and play some more. H goes home about 2.30, my friends two girls get collected around 3pm, Joan heads home around 4 and at 4.15 I start dinner for me my friend and all the kids. I run to wash my hair while dinners cooking, The bouncy castle is collected at 5 while I’m cooking dinner with a towel wrapped around my head , Dish it up at 5.10 and am eating and trying to talk to them at the same time feeling really rude (still with the fucking towel around my head), but I have to leave for work at 5.30 and I’m not even dressed for work yet (whoops). I eat super fast, any parent will know this is a skill you acquire pretty quickly after expelling a small human from your body. Chris walks in I’m hoping around with one sock on, my work top on , trying to brush my hair and get my trousers on at the same time. Lyn offers to have the kids so he can drop me in, that saves us the arguments about who’s sitting in what seat in the car that we have every time despite the kids seats being in set fucking places because frankly we can’t be arsed to move car seats around every time we go out. Chris gets changed quickly and takes me to work (he’s a good egg). I get home around 11.30, I’m exhausted but express before heading to bed. My head hits the pillow and the boy Childs super senses have kicked in! My first thoughts , fucking wonderful, but I get up feed him and surprisingly he goes back off until 3am ish. Chris deals with the girls through the night while I deal with the small boy.
I wake up with the boy at 5am and he goes back off again I head back to bed praying for a lay in.. pahahaha I should of known that pissing prayer wouldn’t of been answered. 6.30 yes that’s right 6 fucking 30 in half term on my day off G wakes up as does A and being the kind caring sisters they are, they can’t bear to be awake without their sisters so within half hour all four of them and demanding all sorts. None of the items they want being breakfast unless you class sweets, chocolate, Christmas presents or to write their birthday lists (which are a year away) as breakfast. Chris heads to work and I con a couple of the kids to lay in bed with me for a little bit just as the boy child wakes up. I bring him down and he signs milk please. So I feed him and bribe A with treats if she makes breakfast. She does bless her and they all sit and eat while I finish feeding the boy child. When I enter the lounge they’re playing happily however it looks like we’ve not cleaned for a week.
I get the boy breakfast which is pancakes and also the only god damn thing he will eat bar safe chocolate and they all play while I attempt to wash and clean up. I take him up to bed about 9.15 as is he frantically signing , milk , please , sleep. I lay and feed him while listening to the girls playing it’s actually really nice. He doses off and I head downstairs. Head into the kitchen and they’ve found the fucking play doh bag I thought I’d hidden really well. I tell them they can play with a little bit but it has to be kept relatively tidy, not all over the floor and swept and moped before the boy wakes because he is allergic. Why the hell I thought they’d listen to me I do not know. My children are only interested in listening if it involves bribery in the form of sweets. This is what I was met with after cleaning the bathroom 🙄🙄
That’s just a little and not spread everywhere in my children’s eyes clearly they meee to go get their glasses checked because they sure as hell ain’t seeing what I am! They play for an hour or so and I know he will wake soon so the next half hour is spent battling to get them to help me clean it up. In the end I got fed up of asking and resorted to “right all of you, on the sofa now” and I cleaned up the newly decorated floor. Right on que the boy child woke. I posted the above picture on Facebook and got a call from (and this might sound weird) my ex partners, ex girlfriend (remember my blog co parenting done right) Louise in a panick as if she hadn’t seen my picture she wouldn’t of known the boy was allergic to it and she is having the kids Friday for me. I would of told her obviously, but I’m pleased she called and checked. The rest of the day was a blur of cleaning, fighting , tantrums, yelling (surprisingly the kids yelling not me) , mess and constant demands. The one thing that did stand out is sending G to her room because she had been naughty to go up ten minutes later to find this. Until chris got home at which time we had dinner and he took the three older girls to my friend Tara’s for the night so I could work Thursday. I spend most of the evening texting tara thanking her and checking on the kids. The night went as usual minimal sleep even if we were down three kids.
I fed the boy silly o’clock somewhen. The morning and went back to sleep with him because sometimes it’s just fucking easier. Before anyone says anything , no I’m not making a rod for my own back, yes he does need soothing to sleep, yes I’m exhausted, as is chris, no I’m not letting him fucking cry it out! 6.45 I get up with the boy and B,Chris gets B dressed then gets sorted for work while I sort the boy . 7.30 he leaves for work and I get into my uniform. The boy is not in his happy place this morning and I have to do the whole knee hold to get in the buggy trick eventually he’s in so I whack some make up on while yelling at B to get her coat on because I’ll win the race otherwise ( I didn’t know it was a race until those words fell out of my mouth) it worked thank fuck. We head to nursery. The boy screaming in his buggy I’m sure the people walking their dogs thought I had seriously injured him or something the way he was screaming and the way they looked at me. We get to nursery with ten minutes before they open the door and the boy starts signing milk please to me while making this awful shouty noise (at the ripe old age of 20 months he can’t talk yet so we are teaching him makaton). So I get him out and there I am stood in the nursery garden , tit out, stretched in a mega dodgy position I like to call boob aerobics , child attached feeding him before he goes in. He finishes fairly quickly and buggers off to play for a minute . Then I hear “mummy I made you breakfast” I turn around and am met with a mud pie that I’ve now got up convincingly pretend to eat. love my kids but it’s to early for this !!
I’m rocking this whole mum stuff right now to be fair. The doors open and I head in take the boy to his keyworker who I’m sure he loves more than me. I don’t blame him she is awesome. Que B kicking off, she doesn’t want me to leave. The nursery manager is also amazing and takes her from my arms after a cuddle she’s kicking, screaming and trying to get her shoes off. The manager tells me to go and I’ve mixed feelings here, one being I feel bad and don’t want to leave her the other being I’ll be glad to get to work for the mental break from this half term so far. I call ten minutes later and she’s fine bless her. Into work I go. Texting tara most of the day to check on the girls because I miss them. I finish at 2, but get home late and head straight to the shop because Louise with L is due over for the night and I’ve got to get stuff for dinner. I get home about 4pm and Louise arrives shortly after only to whitness me cooking a last minute, 60 minute roast. Her words “you won’t gets roast cooked in that time babe” .. challenge accepted. I made my own yorkshires and had to cut the beef into thirds because it was so big, but my god it was amazing. Obligatory food pic below..
chris collects the small boy and B from nursery and arrives just as I’m dishing up. We eat together which as really nice then chris puts B to bed while I put the boy to bed. Chris then goes to rugby training. Me and Louise decide it’s probably best that L is put to bed in my bed and moved. Bedtime for the older girls is as interesting as always infact more so as we have guests and so they don’t want to sleep and it ends up being a massive battle of wills .. I won eventually by the way haha. When they’re finally asleep me and Louise chill for a while before chris gets home, Louise moves L and we all go to bed.
Its my mums birthday today and I feel terrible I can’t see her but I’ve got to work.
Poor Louise the kids are up and wide awake by 7 which is actually incredibly late for them. I got up late 6.50 to be exact and so did chris. So we rush around getting ready while reminding an already panicking Louise about where Isaacs safe food is and how not to let the kids touch or go near him while eating. We then rush it the door. I got home from work at 4.30 and everyone is still in pjs I’m far more jealous than I should be about this. The girls are busy telling me about the amazing day they’ve had and I’m exhausted doing the whole pretend to listen, nod, smile and throw in a few aww that’s lovely beautiful. While praising Louise on not being driven into a mental institute by the kids and wondering what the hell in gunna do for dinner as we’ve nothing in and it’s good Friday. Louise and L head home it’s been awesome having them stay. Back to dinner I’m still no further on so a text to chris to pick up McDonald’s the kids are over the moon with that so they eat and we bath them. G and R get collected by their dad, Chris battles to get B to bed and I attempt to get the boy child to sleep. As usual because I’ve been at work he is now scared the boob will be withheld forever so won’t let go for toffee. He finally falls asleep and I sneak away and ask A to go to bed surprisingly she does. We have a relatively easy night with the smalls (that’s right I didn’t believe it either to start with).
Chris has to work today because he’s Monday off and we can’t afford to lose the money so he goes off to work and I lay in bed with the boy child while A makes her and B breakfast. We get up and play for a while B is by 9am being rather defiant in sure because she misses daddy. I put the boy to bed and clean up. b wakes him not once but twice and the second time he’s not up for going back to sleep. Chris brother turns up with treats for the kids for Easter with O and she and the girls chat while they dig into their Easter eggs for an hour. Chris gets home just after lunch and starts cleaning the house like it’s been infested with some sort of contagious disease while moaning at me because I’m just chilling on the sofa watching April the giraffe in labour with the kids. (I don’t know what his problem is this giraffe is far more exciting than sorting washing). Did anyone see her give birth itvwas incredible. Amie’s asked to go to the trampoline park and so I booked it earlier. After getting the house sorted and the kids dressed we head there .
For most people it’s great fun for me it’s the most stressful hour ever. Worrying about the small ones being crushed by the others there or broken bones and such. It’s just a massive bubble of anxiety. However I don’t show it and start teaching A how to do a few tricks I learnt from my trampoline lesson days she loves it. While Chris is giving me a mild heart attack by not being close enough to the small two for my liking (which in all honesty he was never going to be able to do unless he carried them the entire time) haha. When we leave we book a table at tgis for us , my mum and my bestie as it was mums birthday yesterday. The bestie can’t come so we go to collect mum. She’s really surprised especially since we gave her fifteen minutes notice (sorry mum). It was so nice eating out and not worrying about Isaacs allergies. And me and mum enjoyed a cocktail.
Considering the table was for 7pm we got home mega late it was gone nine I think. So straight in and to bed for the kids. They all are shattered so went down simply. As normal though not for long.
I woke up after a few hours sleep in the boys bed with him still firmly attatched to my boob. I sneak the nipple out of his mouth while hoping he doesn’t suddenly get all jaws like on me, I’m not up for that shit this morning. I head back to bed about 5 I think and get an hour and a half sleep before getting up and ready for work. Chris is home and not working so I let him deal with the small people and actually manage to get some make up on for work… I know that shocked me too. It’s probably helped by the fact they’d walked into the lounge and the “Easter bunny” has been. Chris keeps the kids up and collects me from work as he’s been playing a charity rugby game in the day while his mum watched and took the kids (thankyou julie). We walk in and I’ve not even had chance to take my shoes off and the boy is grunting at me and signing for milk wouldn’t even let me change so chris takes him while I do quickly. I didn’t even have time to ask the kids about their days. Cheers boy not like I may of wanted to sit down for a minute and rest after a twelve hour day. And this is how I spent the next couple hours again he’s making up for a day without boob, because obviously the same milk he gets from my boobs(or should I say his boobs) just isn’t the same as from the source. I do love it don’t get me wrong but I could of done with a little time with chris this evening And felt bad as we’ve barely seen eachother and he was left to sorting the house.
So yeah this week one of Easter half term. I’m shattered writing it and it’s taken me two days to do so. I cannot thank everyone that’s helped us so far enough for helping make sure the kids had a good time and Didnt miss out on the fun of half term even though me and chris were working.
It’s now 12.20am Wednesday, I’ve been home from work an hour, just finished expressing and now need to try sleep. So that’s me for now :).
Until next time.