Week two of half term. Is it time to go back to school yet? 

Don’t get me wrong I love extra time with the kids over half terms but my god is it shattering, especially when having to work too. Then there is the fact the kids either get on and do stuff they shouldn’t , or fight and scream at each other constantly, the late nights, the more relaxed routine (that isn’t in anyway more relaxed if anything it’s more fucking stressful) , the more mess to clean up or the mum in me feels I have to find things for us to do everyday, because I don’t want them going back to school and not being able to tell their friends about their adventures. Is physically and mentally draining. The extra cuddles and time spent with the kids make up for it most of the time to be fair, but In all honesty though Monday can’t come quick enough now. Although when Monday does come I will feel bad for writing this (at least for a moment or two). The second week was much like the first with having to rely on good friends to help with the kids. So a massive thankyou to those that have helped. Not many people want five kids while I go to work for twelve hours , they don’t want to get up at stupid o’clock to look after them especially. Which is understandable especially given my kids can be a handful, although typically they’re all fucking angels for other people (if someone could teach them how to be like that at home too would be great)  so I do really appreciate the help I get. 

Monday.. 

I swapped my late shift for an early today because it was more beneficial for work and meant we could go out with the kids in the afternoon. Chris is off today as it’s a bank holiday so he has the pleasure of the little shit bags for the morning. We get up I get myself sorted for work , including packing a spare set of clothes to change after work, the kids stay in pjs as they typically got up late (couldn’t of done that on my day off hey!) and he takes me to work. A decided at 7.20 she wanted to come with me so gets herself dressed super fast and comes to work with me for the morning. I would tell you what they got up to in the morning, but that would mean finding the time to actually have a conversation with him which is impossible with how busy our life is, most nights we are lucky to even sleep in the same bed let alone have a chat. So anyway I do my shift (and it was an awesome shift) , finish , gets changed and chris picks me up with the kids . We then head to ploughmans garden centre it’s awesome there the kids love it. However I didn’t get any pictures as I was to busy trying to stop the kids pulling all the breakable stuff over and reminding myself it’s not socially acceptable to put them on leads while looking at all the beautiful garden things that no way in hell can we afford because yes we both work, but we also have a small army that eat and shit in our money. That’s right people kids are expensive little shits and always need something so if you go to work as a parent thinking you’ll be able to buy more things for your home or you, I will warn you now that won’t happen. As parents we also have this stupid inbuilt conscience that seems to put a block on us buying ourselves anything nice because although you may have the money, you feel the kids could use that new pair of sandals more (although they’ve got five pairs already). So anyway yeah we are at ploughmans , we go to see my grandparents who own the owls the kids hold and cuddle the owls, we then go on the steam train, back to the owls and head home . B convinced us to go to the bumpy road, it’s a massive road with loads of shitty hills that make you feel like you’re going to vom on you’re lap at any point called matchems lane (things we do for the kids ey). They’re all laughing their heads off on the journey down the road though and although really bloody loud is awesome to hear. We got home , had dinner , baths and bedtime routine. Chris takes the small girls as usual while I take the small boy child. The other two sit watching tv. They settle relatively well, then R and A are left and this is where shit gets interesting. A has decided she shall not even think about bedtime because she’s eight, you know! She is too big to be told when her bedtime is or asked to go to bed. She however in her quest to not go to bed turns into a bloody toddler, answering back, screaming, stamping , waving her arms around like an octopus on fucking LSD, jumping up and down. This carries on for a good half an hour until I eventually get her into bed now before R because she will intentionally keep R awake, she’s lost all technology privalidges for Tuesday. Have you ever tried to stay calm when you’ve a child that’s old enough to know better acting like a two year old? That shits hard, very fucking hard. I think I deserve some sort of award. Eventually she calms down and R has put herself in our bed so she can get some rest, bless her she hears it go quiet and asks if she can go to her own bed. So off she goes all is quiet for now. How the hell standing on a floor board can wake the three small kids up but a screaming , shouting, eight year old does not is beyond me, But for now everyone is sleeping. The night goes as usual B wakes up with tummy ache. We are at the point with this that we think it’s more habit than actual pain now because it’s every day. So we get some squash on a medicine spoon and magic she’s asleep again (good old placebo). Then the boy child wakes for the first of what seems like about 30,000 times. Until eventually I get into his bed. 

Tuesday.. 

I’m just gunna whack this in here it’s now actually the following Wednesday, but my week has been so good damn busy I don’t even remember if I’ve had time to poo let alone write. Infact this is how I’m currently writing .. multitasking pro hey?? 

So as it’s half term the kids couldn’t possibly lay in and instead get up at the absolute arse crack of dawn…. again. This time the boy child is still asleep and so I send them back to play for a bit until he wakes up. Lasted all of ten minutes before I hear….”mum B popped in my face” from R .. popped, in our house is the child equivalent of farted but I don’t like the word fart , no idea why, I just don’t. So I reluctantly remove myself from the warm, cozy, bed that has improsoned me, to find out why one child has felt the need to expel over 300 poo particles into another’s face! I ask what happened and B states “she wouldn’t play with me, now I’m not her best friend” .. I go on to explain why it’s not acceptable to pop in other people’s faces and they are sisters and a team and should play nicely. Whilst in my head I’m giving B an imaginary high five for her creativeness (you’ve got to admit that shit is funny, excuse the pun). So anyway I’m up now, and we head downstairs I go through the usual what do you want for breakfast and everyone wants something we haven’t got. Eventually they all settle for corn flakes with sugar. Corn flakes are the only cereal I allow them to have sugar on and that’s only because I can’t able arsed buying Frosties as well as corn flakes. At this point the boob monster is demanding the boob he’s so desperately missed for the whole three hours he’s been solidly asleep. I bring him downstairs and feed him then go for my morning poo(this time I lock the door no kid is ruining this moment for me). However I do come down to this  i think there is five kids in there somewhere. I then tell the girls to get dressed , while I dress the boy child and we do some colouring after. Sounds good right? Well there is five of them and only two pink pencils. Note to all the mums out there always buy enough for one per child, it’s just not worth the stress. They’re fighting and playing tug of war with the pencils, yes that’s right bloody pencils. So I do the whole “but you’re colouring grass so you don’t need pink you need green with that triggered “but I want to colour the flowers”.. really?! Because clearly flowers can’t be anything but pink obviously ?! After about ten minutes they’re all colouring one item each with four different colours. Then I get a text that reads “I’ll be over about lunchtime” … bollocks! I completely forgot Lyn was coming over with the kids and they’re camping in the garden tonight. I ask her to grab some extra mince , Bolegnense sauce and pasta so I can make enough dinner for all of us. It’s the boy child’s nap time, for the girls that means tv and tablet time just to keep them quiet so I can get him to sleep. I take him up feed him and get him to sleep on my return downstairs they’re now fighting over the tablet. That’s it I’ve had enough of the fighting and it’s only 9.30am. So I suggest going in the garden and they all do. That gives me time to clean, the boy child to sleep and the best part… some quiet for half hour at least until the “mum I need to pee” “mum I need a drink” “mum she did this” starts. I clean up and make a cuppa that for the first time since I can remember I can drink hot. It’s amazing the things you take for granted before you have kids hey? He sleeps until lunchtime while I am out in the sun and the kids are all being good. I might add they’re only being good because when they’re in the garden they’re all off doing their own thing and staying away from eachother. Anyway the boy wakes I make lunch and we chill for a little bit. Then Lyn , Jaff and the kids turn up with a massive tent part of me is petrified 8 kids overnight in the garden with one adult the other part relieved, because we may have half a chance of getting a reasonable sleep. They’re all excited to “camp” Lyn and Jaff put the tent up while I make dinner and get ready for work. I’ve decided there is no way in hell im letting eight kids eat spag Bol in my lounge firstly Isaacs allergic and secondly I can’t be arsed to clean it up so they have a picnic dinner and we make out it is amplifying the camping experience for them (parenting hack there saves mess inside and the birds, cats or some other animal is sure to eat the mess left). We eat and Chris gets back, he then takes me to work. I tell the girls enjoy camping , I will miss you and I’ll be honest I do hope they enjoy it, I will miss them but I’m deeply hoping they don’t escape the tent, or knock on my window in the night. At least at work my anxiety won’t bother me as I’ll be busy. 

I get home from work about 11.45pm and before I do anything I go and investigate the tent situation, making sure I can’t hear any awake kids etc. I spot two unopened cans of cider outside it which Chris has clearly left making me think he must of thought Lyn needed them she however didn’t drink them. I get inside and text her “I hope everything’s ok out there” she replies “yup everyone’s asleep but all huddled on Me” I laugh so much I nearly wake the boy. I express then head to bed, Chris isn’t there he is up with the boy child. Haha sucker that’s me getting a decent sleep at least. (He is a good guy). I get into bed where I starfish and cherish every moment of it so much so I can’t sleep. Then I can’t sleep because I want to bring my babies in and end up having a debate with myself about given them a chance to have fun and not ruining it because of my anxiety and I eventually fall asleep and stay asleep ALL night. That’s right I slept all night! I don’t think anyone else did however. 

WEDNESDAY… 

Im going to be honest, Wednesday is a bit of a blur I woke up more tired than I would of been if I was up half the night. Why the hell does that happen? I do know I spent most of it in the garden with Lyn and the kids. Just after lunch my mum turns up and takes the girls for the evening so I can work Thursday. Then Lyn and Jaff go to and it’s just me and the boy child for a while (weird experience that was). I cleaned up and that’s about it. Oh actually something great happened today some prints I ordered arrived, but I’ll write about those seperatly. He went to bed relatively simply, but proceeded to wake up every hour through the night. In the end I stayed up there until about 4.30am where I went down and woke chris to take over so I could get a couple hours sleep. 

Thursday… 

I got up and had a feeling of what it would be like to just have one child, it makes me uneasy, it’s relatively straight forward, stress free and that just isn’t right! I get him to nursery and go to work. 

Chris is working by me so brings me home and This is the most odd experience yet. It’s just me and Chris. We have a couple of hours us time and it’s weird but nice. I will spare you the details of what we got up to, but you can imagine haha. Sorry to our parents if you’re reading this.. (That’s a lie I’m not really sorry) 

He heads to get the boy child from nursery. Chris and the boy child get back and I start the boob and bed routine while Chris goes to rugby. As I sit wondering where the girls are as they should be back around now I hear noise outside. Mums back with the kids. Wondering why she hasn’t come in with them I go downstairs and start cleaning up while they’re all playing in the garden before I pop outside for some “air”. At which point I hear .. “what the hell are you doing home” like I’m not welcome at my own house haha. She didn’t think I finished until 8 and was waiting for chris to get back from nursery because his car wasn’t there haha. She comes in with the kids and as usual the moment I say “make sure you’re quiet your brothers in bed” it’s like someone presses the infanate volume button and each one of the four girls goes full volume. I con mum into helping me get them to bed before she leaves in return for a cuppa I completely forgot to make her (sorry mum). She heads home and I clean up ( i swear I’m forever fucking cleaning up). It’s like the kids walked In and created a tonrnado without touching anything! I host my breastfeeding hour on the McParents Page and head to bed ready for the whirlwind night ahead. Me and chris again split the wakings between us. 

FRIDAY… 

We got up late .. whoops, I got ready for work as did chris. My friends Sally and dan turned up With little E and C at 7.30am to watch the girls and we went to work. (Thankyou so much guys for helping out)  When I get home all the kids where in bed asleep as was Chris however the house was a state to the point I did wonder if they had killed him. He does a lot in the house and with the kids in fairness, is tired and the amount of times he gets home and the house is a mess I can’t really moan. Although I think about it while cleaning the kitchen, I don’t I leave him asleep, pack for kas’ tomorrow, then head to bed. 

Saturday.. 

Earlier in the week I decided to invite me, Chris and the kids to Kas’ again as you do! Because Chris had rugby out of town so as gunna take us on the way and come stay with us when he was done. Me and Kas also invited Kerry (another mcparents admin) and a couple other admins that where close. Only Kerry could come though the others couldn’t warrant the travel unless they could stay and Kas’ house just isn’t big enough. However we have agreed we need a mass meet up and have a few admin weddings and birthdays coming up (look out for those blogs they will be interesting to say the least). 

So yeah Chris decides we have to leave super early so he can have a sleep in the car before rugby. Luckily we packed most things last night and so are up and out the door at 8.30. He drops me off by 10.45 and we breeze in like we own the place as you do. Haha . Chris stays for a bit and runs Wayne to the shop before he heads off to rugby. The kids are off playing already so we are sorted pretty much. It’s funny how it’s less stressful with more kids than less don’t you think? They go see the ducks, while me and Kas sit and catch up between chasing the boy child around for fear he will hurt himself as his new favourite toy is the back door. R’s tooth is twisted because it’s so lose but is stuck between her tooth next to it and the adult tooth behind it so Kas convinces R to let her help it out (by convinces I mean we bribed her because it’s hurting her) after about fifty failed attempts we have a tooth out and no longer annoying R. Watching it was hilarious (how I wish I could upload a video to this). The amount of times the string slipped off until finally it stayed on and Kas had hold of the string and R moved backwards and didn’t even notice she had pulled the tooth herself. 

 Then the door goes… it’s Kerry, Mike , P and little A (Kerry informs us she has forgotten wine so we toy with the idea of not letting her in but we are nice so dont send her away) I’m so excited to meet them and it’s like  we’ve known eachother years we all chat and laugh , while the boy has turned to Velcro and won’t leave my side. The kids are playing nicely in the garden, they really are a great bunch of kids (when they’re getting on at least) well bar the couple of 8 turned 18 year olds that are hiding in the bedrooms on laptops and xboxes. I’ve got to say I want Kerry’s top “stressed but well dressed” it’s amazing. And Wayne is a clever man he made the see saw himself the kids loved it.

We enjoy a lush BBQ cooked by Wayne it was so nice. Then it’s time for Kerry and her bunch to go :(.. we promise her wine so we make her down a glass before she leaves while we pour one for ourselves. Weget the  smalls ready for bed they’re all filthy, but you know what they’re exhausted so a wet wipe wash it is for now. Chris gets back and helps with bedtimes. We get them in at a reasonable time although only the small three are asleep the rest are quiet and settled. So we head back to the garden with Wayne and Chris. Pour another glass and start an adult evening. It’s a massive laugh we have great fun. The kids are now all asleep and Me and kas get a bit camera happy haha. Sending the other admins an abundonce of selfies as you do. 

Most looking very much like this. Because well we don’t get to adult much. We head to bed around 1am and suddenly realise we forgot to be the fucking tooth fairy. So now we have to full on stealth mode past loads of kids to get some money and a note under the pillow for R , by we I mean me and kas haha. She writes a note and we head on up. She has the creakiest floor boards I’ve ever fucking known and how we didn’t get caught between the floor boards and our mildly tipsy state is beyond me (I feel the need to add chris and Wayne are not tipsy as chris has to drive and Wayne is on strong painkillers) but we manage. Kas is a much better person then me with her thoughtful note. I was literally just going to write , well done on your first tooth love the tooth fairy. Haha. 

And we head to bed but not before Wayne is walking down the stairs to get something and trips (he didn’t fall before you think we are as evil as he does) and we literally wet ourselves laughing at the poor bloke. He has a bad back and we are trying to unbelievably hard not to laugh, but it’s hilarious at the time and we are howling. Until we are snapped back to reality by the kids stirring and we scuttle off to bed still sniggering. He was not happy with us for laughing as (although we didn’t realiseat the  time) he hurt his back more doing so. Me and Chris have a double(if you can call it that haha) and a single air bed so he takes the single and I take the double because we won’t both fit on one. Until he resorts to the sofa as he is uncomfortable. 

Sunday.. 

4am, yes 4 bloody am B wakes up and I’m so scared she will wake everyone else like last time I bring her down with me and we snuggle on the air bed, although she thinks it’s a bouncy castle and everytime one of us moves the other goes flying haha. The boy actually slept all night. The others didn’t wake until around 7.30 either and played upstairs B and the boy child wake around 8, by about 8.30 me and Chris are surrounded by a farm of children all asking for food. Kas gets up (thank fuck for that because I was about to let them eat everything she owned) and they all eat I say eat, more like feast and me and chris pack our stuff up ready to go. Trying to get the kids dressed is beyond a task something that normally doesn’t take that long takes an hour and a half nearly! About 11 we say our goodbyes and head home to get ready for the first day back at school tomorrow. 

We get home and Chris goes shopping with R to get her new school shoes , all the girls new lunch  boxes and food. He takes B with him also telling her she isn’t getting anything as we can’t afford it, but she can go with him as she is upset he’s going. Leaving me with the boy child, G and A, who are all tired and miserable. I put the boy child to bed and G and A play on the tablet and a phone purely to keep them awake and happy. About 1pm my dad turns up to see the kids , im exhuasted because sleeping in an air bed just doesn’t work with a four year old and they’re so loud. He is so good with the kids they play for ages before dinner is done and are all having a great time. They love it when grandad comes as do I.  We all eat and he heads home while we bath the kids and get them to bed ready for school. Bedtime went relatively smoothly In all honesty though they’re all to exhausted to fight it and know I’m to exhausted to put up with any playing up at bedtime. When they’re in bed me and Chris get everything ready for school and work and head for an early night. 

So yeah that was week two of half term and I’m totally and utterly, mentally and physically exhuasted as is Chris. Thank fuck for back to school, the kids are fed up of eachother and I’m fed up of them being fed up of eachother. They miss and need the routine and  structure of a school week to function even slightly normally. Although I do have to say the extra time and cuddles have been amazing. 

Again thankyou hugely to the people that helped us out. Without your help we wouldn’t both be able to work and keep the kids happy. We really appreciate it. 

Until next time :). 

Much love 

Kate 

Author: workingbreastfeedingmumof5

I am a working , breastfeeding , mum of five. My days are interesting , stressful and hilarious.

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