I don’t even have a title for this shit 

Today has been a shit day to be honest. I don’t even have a title for this blog because, well in all honesty it’s a whole bunch of shit stuff rolled into one shitty blog . 

It all started when I woke up at 6.38am after about 3 hours sleep to a child demanding the milk makers. As much as I love him and I love breastfeeding I really wasn’t up for this, this morning. I woke up with a massive head cold feeling like satan himself had crept into my body overnight and was trying to exit my body from every snotty point he could. Anyhow being the good parent I am I got up and fed the small boy child then, when I realised he wasn’t going back to sleep I came downstairs where chris took over, got up with him and A and B woke also, so he took care of them to. Most Saturday mornings he lets me lay in after feeding the small boy child until whenever I can be arsed to get up to be honest. This morning his words were “you’ve got an hour” fair play to him as I can’t remember the last time he had a lay in on a Saturday morning. So I rush my lazy arse back to sleep until 7.48am when I woke to B telling me daddy was teaching her to ride her bike and he was out in the garden with them. However I was pissed I could of had another half hours sleep if she hadn’t of woken me. Then in he strolls “can you feed the small boy child and put him to bed” so of course I do, as Let’s face it unless chris can miraculously lactate I’m the only one that can do that. I feed him put him to bed and then stroll for my morning “fresh air” and see how well the girls are doing on their bikes. It’s amazing to see it really is 🙂 the girls are so proud and can’t wait to show me. 

So anyway I watch and encourage them as you do while part of me is so pleased for them the other part is really wishing I was still In bed because this parenting lark is tiring business. They come in and do their thing and me and chris start tackling their apparent bedrooms (I say aparent as they more resemble squaters dens). The small boy child has been a proper little weirdo and picking off and eating the paint on his cot so we now have to take him out of it as obviously it’s unsafe. He clearly doesn’t realise he is allergic to almost everything so eating this probably isn’t helpful. See picture below for evidence.. 

So I rearrange his room and make him a floor bed for now while Chris tackles B’s room. He has a cot bed but it’s not here at the moment and to be fair I feel better about a floor bed as he won’t fall out of it. I even made it so there is his section and an adult, for when either im feeding him or chris settling him (we’ve got to have comfort to you know). I’m pretty pleased with it to be fair. 

Obviously he has the bigger mattress with the cool as fuck elephant pillow (not that he will ever actually use it) and duvet and we get the shitty normal pillow and no duvet .. 

So yeah Chris put a load of crap in the loft and sorted G and B’s bedroom. I got the better end of the deal here as standing on their carpet let alone seeing it in their bedroom is a luxury. At this point A has decided she is bored and so has turned into some sort of mutated version of the nice self she has been this week (I knew it would wear off) and is shouting, stropping and refusing point blank to do anything we ask. So Chris makes lunch as a hangry pre teen is worse than a hangry threenager. While they’re eating he says “so shall we go to the club to watch the games soon” (he’s the captain of the rugby club and I a massive rugby widow) I completely forgot there are three games on today .. that’s right not one , not two but three of the bastard things !!! This prompts a general chat where I realise somewhere in the last week we have got very crossed wires. He thinks we are going to watch a game and he is bringing us home and going back to watch the rest and have a few beers because I went out last week. I think we said we would go watch it together , have some family time and get a sitter and have some drinks together after . 

This is a massive issue as we are both stubborn as shit and neither of us will back down. So I’m like hold on a minute and he’s like no you hold on. We end up having a big row (yes people we are normal human beings , we row and don’t agree all the time) I’m upset because I thought we were having time as a family and then time as a couple and he’s upset because he thought he had a green card for a night with the lads . I go to put Isaac to bed for a nap  secretly hoping I will come down and he will say it’s ok babe I’m sorry we will go watch the game and then we will go for a walk on the beach or the cinema or have a drink together , anything really. 

Back to the floor bed. I take Isaac for a nap and he is walking from the door to his bed and back again over and over for about ten minutes until he eventually falls asleep like this. I can’t blame him it’s all new for him although part of me is like why can’t you just stop and go to sleep because ten minutes seems like an hour of waiting for him to settle down. So yeah that’s ^^^ close enough right ? Although the little shit is in my space I’ll let him off because it’s new and he’s only little. 

While he is sleeping the girls go off to play and me and Chris are still mid row . I’m like just go I don’t want to see you right now and he’s like I would but if I do I’ll get a whole load of shit when I get home because you don’t mean all the crap you’re saying about me just going. (He’s probably not wrong that weird women part of me is telling him to go but likely would be mad if he did). I’m the end I’m like fuck it whatever but don’t bother talking to me and he’s like with pleasure. (See…our relationship isn’t all too good to be true and all glittery unicorn shit etc etc). 

Next thing I know he’s put dinner on, a classy, I can’t be arsed dish of chicken nuggets and chips, and I walk into the kitchen still mad at him (not that I can remember why at this point)  to get myself a drink, he asks for a cuddle and wraps his arms around me and I reluctantly shove mine around him with no real enthusiasm and then he licks my face .. yes you read right the bastard licked my face . I wanted to be mad but I couldn’t although he’s a prick sometimes and I’m a prick at times it was hilarious. We are each other’s pricks and do sincerely love each other. So… yeah.. now we are friends again (we are shit at keeping an argument going)  I then get a message from his mum saying she is at the club. I explain what has gone on and I can’t be bothered really and told him to go and leave us here as she wants to see him but he won’t go without us (because he thinks I’ll give him a hard time if he does when in reality I’ll probably be asleep as soon as the kids are in bed) so we all head to the club, watch the game and have a couple drinks. The kids have fun and we attempt to watch the game. 

I do feel for nanny as B is calling her to play outside every two minutes and although nanny goes to play I know deep down she really wants to watch the game. So I do what every responsible parent does I play with her for a little while outside, then hook up my old iPhone to my portable hotspot and shove on peppa pig (although I hate that fucking pig, she is so rude and obnoxious it’s unreal) and keep B occupied for a little while. A is ok she watches the rugby and enjoys it. I’d like to say it’s relaxing but nothing is relaxing when you have kids , especially when the boy child is wanting to wonder around so we are having to follow him like a shadow because firstly he’s only a baby and secondly he’s allergic to everything so can’t be allowed to just run about and play without an adult acting as a shadow. 

We do get some entertainment mind given it’s someone at the clubs birthday so he gets pulled up centre stage and mocked for his attire during matches.. sorry Cel but you do need better shorts!

Then we head home and stop at the chippy for anyone else this would be a simple order and go but with kids plus an allergy child and having to be careful what we eat nothing is ever simple. So B is demanding she cant possibly stay in the car with Daddy and wait so I take her in with me (bad idea). I order our food specifying allergies. There is one person before us and four come in after. While waiting for my order B who is bored and tired decides now the right time to start emptying the drinks fridge …. so she’s emptying it and I’m trying to be calm saying things like “no beautiful you can’t have a can of coke you’re to little put it back”, “B please stop people don’t want their cans shaken up” while in my mind wondering why on earth I agreed to bring the devil child in with me, but smiling sweetly and apologising every two minutes on her behalf. How she is managing to get it all out quicker than I get it all back I don’t know. We are number 29 and I hear 28 called them 30 then 31 getting more and more pissed off with the fact I’m waiting so long and my 4yr old now is sat on the floor surrounded by anything and everything she could reach from the fridge. I put everything back and pick her up apologising to staff. Then comes the tantrum, I’ve got a four year old in my arms kicking her shoes and socks off screaming she wants the cans and some lemon (what the fuck?) everyone’s staring at me and I’m staying calm saying to her “it’s ok baby we will be back in the car in a minute” while wanting to scream at the lady behind the counter, just hurry up with our fucking food or give the child some lemon. She calms down after what seems like an eternity and now all of a sudden needs a wee that can’t possibly wait. I put her down to pick up her shoes and socks and She starts prancing around doing the I need to pee dance holding on to her girl bits while crying she can’t possibly wait, I ask if she can use the loo but surprise surprise it’s staff only again everyone is staring at me At this point I’m furious and I’m not even sure who at so I take her back to the car and leave chris to strap her in while I go back for the food. Finally after order 34 our food is ready. I get back in the car and chris states “B needs a wee” because clearly I didn’t know that already! We get home and eat. I put the small boy child to bed (ha like it’s that simple) , I feed and lay with him while he gets up numerous times and walks about.  Chris puts B to bed then A, I’m still laid with the small boy child, muttering in my head please for fuck sake just go to sleep. I come downstairs for some fresh air because frankly having my breast torn to pieces and being ruled by a toddler has driven me insane. Chris sits on the stairs until the small boy child runs around his room until he falls asleep which impressively only takes 15 minutes. So I get into Bed still mad at the world and he is out cold on the sofa (ok for some) this happens most nights as he is so exhausted from being a parent and partner and he does do a lot for us. Que B waking up, so I go see her, settle her off , come back down and start writing this with a glass of wine. 

I start falling asleep and am woken by a small ginger human (A) . She scared the absolute shit out of me, as I woke up and she was just staring at me like she wanted to kill me in my sleep. I took her back to bed and she settled off to sleep after trying to tell me a million and twelve reasons why she can’t sleep. I then check on everyone (aren’t they cute when they sleep) and come back to finish writing this in my half asleep state. 

Next thing I know it’s 1.30am and I’m awake and feeding the small boy child again because god forbid he should ever go a whole night with out the milk makers. While doing that I’m spell checking This blog as it seems being half asleep I forget how to spell even the simplest of words and autocorrect is a knob (who the hell ever shot them selves because their child was staring at them). Everyone else is asleep and I’m glad they need their rest and are less likely to be stroppy shits in the morning. I get back to bed at 3.15am. 

Now it’s 7am and I’ve just woken up to the sound of the small boy child moaning his “I’m tired” moan. So I’m gunna finish this up and go let him scratch the shit out of my (ha my, I don’t know why I said my it’s clear they haven’t been mine since they started producing milk and helping to grow a small human) milk makers while attempting to get him back to sleep as Chris has been up with him since 5.15am. 

Will see you all next time 

Kate 😘

Co-parenting and why it’s best

So you know I have five children , well only two are biologically Chris’ although he brings up the others like his own. He is amazing with them he really is. 

A’s dad isn’t around, but that’s his loss if I’m honest and I don’t feel it appropriate to talk about the circumstances surrounding that. 

G and R’s dad he has them every other weekend and is great with them. We co- parent and it works.. Why ? Because we appreciate the needs of our children. 

We have not been without our issues, don’t get me wrong. We didn’t work as a couple and I don’t think ever would of. When I met Chris he was understandably dubious. He said his piece and I listened because that’s what good parents do, talk to each other. He is a much better friend and father as I am a better friend and mother now we are both in our own relationships and not in one together. 

Co-parenting when done right is amazing for the kids. There are times when I could kill him (like when he bought the girls furbys and sent them home with them for instance) as I’m sure there are when he could me. How ever we do not allow the girls to see that we are upset with each other. It shouldn’t be their issue they’re kids after all. Him and Chris get on really well although it took a while for them to warm to each other, understandably. I have met and got along with his previous partner infact me and her are still friends and she is still a part of our children’s lives. Which again is great for the kids they love being able to still see her. He and Chris talk like they’re good friends and appreciate each others roles in the girls lives. The girls chose a while ago to call chris Daddy they where very small when he came into their lives we have always made it clear if they don’t want to anymore at any time that’s fine (although I know this would upset Chris deep down) we completely understand and appreciate it’s their decision. Their dad wasn’t pleased to begin with and I don’t blame him nor does Chris. Over time he was fine with it and now they have “daddy what lives in a little flat (they made this themselves and he no longer lives in a little flat) and daddy chris and we are all ok with this. 

Imagine what would go through our children’s heads if we were insulting each other and argueing around them , the confusion of why people they loved so much were so awful to each other would be awful. The feeling that we are trying to put things in their head about the other person would be unimaginable. Their little minds are so so fragile and moulded so easily it’s just not worth it. 

 We have been seperated over five years now and it wasn’t always this way. There was a time we couldn’t stand the sight of each other but tolerated each other and grunted at each other with the handover of the children more than really spoke to each other . Now it’s different, very different and so much better for the kids. Every birthday, Christmas and Mother’s Day he ensures I get a gift from the girls (Chris gets gifts for me from all of the children and he does the cards) and I do the same for him. Birthdays and Christmas’ he comes over and sees the girls and chats with us, helps them open their presents and we have a great time all together, he even makes sure he brings a little Gift for A, B and the small boy child which he does voluntarily. He comes to the girls parties every year and again we have a great time he chats to the kids friends parents, my parents and nine times out of ten I turn around and him and Chris are babbling some bollocks about rugby between themselves . I can call him up and ask him for school tops, shoes or anything else important the girls might need and if he can afford to do so he will get them. The girls can call him at any time day or night if they want to and can me when they are with him. If I’m not about or at work He will call Chris to sort drop off/pick ups for the kids, will help on weekends if we want to make plans as we do for him. He knew I couldn’t afford the kids school photos this year and was devestated as it was G’s first ever school photo and he bought me some beautiful framed prints . Just as last year I knew he was struggling and so I got him some of the children’s school photos. We work together we help each other out Showing our kids as adults you can be apart, be in new relationships, but can all parent together . 

We all appreciate each other in the relationship we have driven and surrounding our children. I couldn’t imagine what would go through the children’s heads if daddy that lives in a little flat and daddy chris hated each other and didn’t work together , or if myself and their dad couldn’t work together. We have made it work for the children because they deserve so much more than to be stuck in the middle of anything. Look at days like today when I explained that R was being bullied at school, she then got the same expectations and support from all three of us backing up what one another had said (although I did have to tell Chris and P that telling R to fight back wasn’t going to help bloody men haha). He had dinner with us and the girls and they loved it. This co-parenting relationship confuses some people I get a lot of “but he’s your ex” “how do him and Chris tolerate each other” “it’s weird having your ex over at Christmas” but it’s not about me and Chris nor is it about me and P it’s about the children. The children that from this are learning , love, appreciation and nurture from us. Below is a picture of R and G excited that daddy came for dinner. 

We are adults that parent together , we make it work for them and I strongly believe our children will be better for it. When they grow up they won’t remember people arguing, they will remember Tena work, and people working together to support, love and protect them. 

Much love 

Kate 😘

That crazy thing called parenting.. 

Being home alone 

Having five children I am constantly surrounded by at least two small people and lots of varying noises, from the toot toot cars, the tiny tears crying, furbys (fuck you furby inventor) , musical instruments , children talking, babbling or plain moaning. So today is weird … very weird. 

I have a days holiday from work and it’s just me no kids , no Chris , just me and I’m not sure I like it. I got up, helped with the absolute carnage that was getting the kids ready and seeing them off while Chris took them to school and nursery as he does every Friday, I then prepped and put beef stew in the slow cooker. While staring at all the cleaning that I should be doing. I decided I couldn’t stay in the house any longer (it’s only 8.15am by the way). So I trotted off to the sorting office to pick up Chris’ parcel, then to a friends house to sit with her and her small humans for a bit. It was nice seeing them play hearing them chatting and spending time with my friend. I was back in my happy place. Then realised I didn’t take my breastpump which is essential when it away from the small boy child. So I headed home , made some food and now I am all uneasy again. The only noises in my house are the sound of the breastpump and the clock ticking, seemingly louder than it ever does. 

I’ve found myself sad and although there are plenty of things I should be getting On with , It’s it just doesn’t seem right without a couple (at least) of small people demanding my attention. I should be happy right? This morning I got my first poo in peace for as long s I can remember. I could have an uninterrupted bath, read a book, clean the house, but nope I’m sat expressing feeling lonely, unmotivated and writing this. It makes me wonder how I will cope when my children are all grown up, when they don’t rely on me so much anymore, when they move out and don’t visit as often as I would like them to. It Makes me realise all those shitty things they do in the day, they are what makes my day. What will I do when they don’t do those things ? Who will I look after, love and nurture? 

They’ve only been gone three hours and I’m  lost. Yet every morning when I take them to school and nursery I’m so grateful for the break. Normally I’m occupied at work so don’t realise how quiet it is at home I guess, It probably doesn’t help I’m so exhausted it’s unreal, my eyes hurt, my head is fuzzy and I don’t feel great. Infact I feel like what I could only imagine it would feel like if you were sucking off a Stanley knife and it ejaculated its razor sharp blades into your throat. I guess I don’t get time to stop and for my body to realise how tired it is until times like now so I probably feel like this a lot more than I have time to realise. 

Anyway now I’m sat listening to the school kids playing happily on there first break and I just want to go and swoop my kids up and bring them home to be able to appreciate all the things I’m now missing. Obviously I won’t because I know full well when they get home I will be willing them to be back at school. Is this what being a parent is? Having your kids drive you so mentally insane to the point you could happily neck a bottle of wine at 10am (for the record last time I drank wine that early was before I had kids) one minute and the next wishing they were following you for that peaceful poo you’ve been wishing for for so long?

On that note I’m totally shattered and emotional so going to try have a nap I think. 

See you soon 

Kate 😘

Eating out with allergies 

So as you will know by now from my previous posts I am a mum of five and I breastfeed. Well the small boy child I often speak of has 25 …. yes 25 allergies and intolerances. As I am feeding him I have to follow his strict and rather annoying diet, but I do this because I am not willing to sacrifice our breastfeeding journey for the sake of a cheese sandwich on normal bread, or milk in my tea (although there have been times that cheese sandwich has been extremely tempting). 

Eating out for us is a huge and I mean huge issue. All the searching the internet for allergy menus, the researching safe places to eat, the recommendations from friends (few of whom actually can relate all be it they’re trying to be helpful) , all the cross contamination risks, the fact a little boy at 19 month old has to be followed around while walking around chosen restaurant incase he picks something up he shouldn’t, having to sanitise tables and highchairs down. It’s exhusting physically and mentally. So it seems it’s just safer to stay in and eat. It means putting off lunch dates, going to soft play areas and kids parties because any one of those events could potentially make the small boy child extremely poorly. 

On the rare occasion you find somewhere reasonable for allergy information and a decent menu that suits or can be adapted to your needs. They rarely take you seriously as a lot of very selfish people decide because they don’t like mushrooms they will tell staff they’re allergic which a lot of companies have caught on to meaning us that are genuine could potentially severely suffer. So hey you person that dislikes mushrooms or bloats with gluten tell the god damn truth you will still be catered for but won’t ruin it for the people that are genuine! 

There are a few places I have learnt the hard way to avoid for multiple allergy sufferers the first being harvesters obviously not all are the same but I distinctly remember once going to the harvester local to me to be told I couldn’t have the steak, which is normally safe because cows make milk, and beef is cow 🙄. I also couldn’t have egg with a chosen meal because it’s dairy.. heads up people eggs aren’t dairy. That’s not to say they are all like that obviously, but I shan’t be going back. 

The next being frankie and bennies now a lot of people have raved about them and I’m sure they’re great with the odd allergy don’t get me wrong but multiple allergy suffers as ourself not so much. We went for our daughters birthday and once we got seated I asked for their allergy information to which they told me they will go get it. They then came back saying they didn’t have it nor did they have anyone that could give it to me so “could you use your smart phone to get it up online” when I did finally find it we had to questsion a few things and it turned out basically I could eat bacon and avacado and that was it. It had been a recommendation from a good friend to go there, so maybe they were just having a bad day who knows . 

There are a few other places but none stick out as much as those in my mind. 

Then there are the good places .

Toby carvery – they will make you fresh veg if required and provide pretty good allergy information, the staff are helpful and happy to accommodate. 

Nando’s- their allergy folder is truly brilliant and most foods there are safe for multiple allergy sufferers plus it tastes really yummy. The only thing I will say is when you order your meal with corn on the cob and you explain an extreme reaction to milk you don’t expect it to come out with a butter packet on the plate and it does make you question how seriously they have taken you. 

Beefeater- Also an amazing allergy folder the manager takes your order, and helps you browse through and work out what’s safe and what’s not they will also cook your food separately to prevent cross contamination. 

Then you have the down right amazing and the only place I have ever eaten where I have felt 110 percent safe with the food provided. Not only is their allergy folder brilliant, but the manager takes your order and works through the menu with you. They ask lots of questions like , how severe is the allergy, what are the reactions like and lots of other stuff. I only went to this place recently for the first time and I cannot praise it enough. TGI FRIDAYS, tower park branch to be precise. We were invited for a big meal with a friend there was a huge group of us and the manger Rich could not of been any more helpful or accomidating, he came and sat with me listening to the confusing list of allergies and suggested an order for my milk intolerant daughter. Then he was able to point me on the direction of something for my self and something for the small boy child. He took the order and explained the sanitise the kitchen so our food may take a little longer, I was fine with that infact I was over joyed with it. He went away and came back about ten minutes later explaining it would be a little longer as someone had put their hand on the surface they were using for our meals and so they had to start the process again. He explained our food would be cooked separately and checked we were ok with the oil he even said “if you’re not I can go to Tesco and get some safe oil for you” – how amazing is that!! It was safe anyway but still the thought was there. We then had a chat about allergies and how awful they can be , he told me he thought I was amazing still feeding and changing my entire diet for my son (if your reading this Rich thankyou so much that meant an awful lot especially from a stranger I don’t hear it often)  I thought that was that and waited for my food , five minutes passed and he returned to say he was asking the chef who normally with allergies would still use clean bare hands to wear two pairs of gloves because of how severe the boy child’s allergies can be and he wanted to make sure there was no allergies to the material they used. I seriously have so much appreciation for Rich right now. Then our food came out and was bought out by a seperate waiter to the ones that bought everyone else’s out. With little notes on from the chef Harvey.. Harvey you are also amazing. It was so nice to have a personal touch and to know the name of the person that had given to all the hard work of making sure our boy didn’t get poorly. A few minutes later Rich came back to check everything was ok with our food and informed us he would stay on over his shift change to ensure everything was correct- this man is one of the best people I have met in a long time. A little while later He introduced us to the manger taking over also so we could go to either if we had any issues. Once we had finished our meal he came over again to check everything was ok before going home.. this experience was the most amazing I’ve had since feeding the boy child and finding out about his allergies and for that I’m massively grateful and will definitely be heading back. Infact I think TGI FRIDAYS will be our go to place for dinner from now on. 

I do hope that this gets back to Rich so he can see how amazing he is and how amazing he made our experience. I am truly greatful. 

I will leave you with if you’ve allergies and eat out it can be great with the right research and staff :). 

Until next time 

Kate 😘

Being a parent is hard as fuck… 

I’m not gunna lie this shit is hard man and sometimes I want to lock myself in the bathroom and not come out for an hour just to calm myself down and remind myself I’ve got all these things to be grateful for. That, at times I completely forget about in a cloud of stress and when I sit back and read my blogs back I realise how hilarious my day has been and how I wouldn’t change my life for the world because frankly it would be boring. 

Take yesterday after school for example we as we have established in my last few blogs the smallboy child has decided he doesn’t like his high chair anymore. Now he has 25 allergies so dinner times are extremely difficult, but he wanted to sit with his sisters and so we had a floor dinner . It was amazing (despite the boy child hating food and so being mega grumpy when we handed it to him).  We don’t have room for a table and me and chris use the dining room as a bedroom as we just don’t have the space for all seven of us in this house, so can’t put one in there we all sat on the floor eating our dinner, we all talked about our days, the girls thanks Chris for dinner and were generally pretty good (this does worry me sometimes mind) 

However our evening didn’t carry on like that and I was stupid to think it would to be honest haha. 

Later on in the evening  for example B and G got sent to bed early for playing up 5.50pm instead to 6pm to be precise. Then the small boy child went to bed at 6.15pm , R at 6.30pm and A at 7.30pm. You’d think that would mean me and chris (who is poorly) could clean up and then relax for a while before bed. Hahahaha that’s never the case in my house. 7.40pm on the dot B wakes up. She’s squirming around in her bed and crying I ask her what’s wrong she doesn’t tell me (this genuinely drives me fucking insane) I inform her gently to be able to help her she needs to tell me what’s wrong this makes her cry more (because obviously the task of talking for someone that hasn’t stopped talking all day is really hard) after about ten minutes she tells me she’s got tummy ache. So I go get her some calpol and give it to her. She rolls over and (so I thought decieving little madam) goes back to sleep. 8pm R comes down stairs “mummy I can’t sleep” , “ok sweetheart why can’t you sleep” the responce is an impeccable one “I forgot how to close my eyes” by now I know she’s just trying to out off going to sleep as over the last four months I’ve heard all the reasons you can imagine not to sleep, such as , my covers fell off, I need a wee(when she has just been) , I’m to hot, I’m to cold, my toy is talking to me keeping me awake(by this she means a teddy that doesn’t make a sound) , I’m hungry, I’m thirsty, my pjs fell off by themselves, you name it I’ve heard it. Inside I’m boiling up ready to burst. I’ve so much to do and could really do without this tonight . But still I comfort her and lay her back down where she goes to sleep eventually. Once I start tidying I check the baby monitor and see B playing In her room. Ok now I’m a bit miffed, so I go sit by her side for ten minutes until she goes back to sleep … again. Fifteen minutes later G is up for the toilet and because her chest hurts (she’s pointing to her throat) more calpol given and ushered back to bed by now it’s 8.30. I finally get the cleaning I need to get done, done . Chris has washed up he’s been amazing even though he feels poorly (you know man flu is a real thing right). Looking back on it now I’m greatful my children trust me enough to call on me in the night without fear of being told off or upsetting me (I hide that shit well and am currently giving myself a pat on the back) 

Then I sit to write a blog I wrote last night that’s yet to be made public. 9.45pm the small boy child is awake and screaming he won’t stop crying no matter what I do. He’s refusing the breast , squirming through cuddles, his nappy is clean and dry. So he also gets some paracetamol although he’s not as lucky as the girls as he is allergic he has to have a shitty liquid paracetamol that smells and tastes like shit. After another ten minutes or so of screaming no matter what I try to do and me continuously shouting in my head for fuck sake child why can’t you just tell me what’s fucking wrong. He does the pointy thing indicating he’s now ready for access to the milk makers. And the cutest thing happens he is happily feeding and looks up at me, stops what he’s doing and gives me a kiss without being asked to then he pulls out the other milk maker while frantically feeding from the left and holds it as if to say “this is mine too” he is a funny boy 

After his milk he lays on my chest just cuddling me for a minute and it’s amazing knowing how much he loves me and realising I can’t be mad at him for being awake is not his fault. Although he is now wide awake and ready for the day at 10.30pm. I try to put him in his cot, cuddle him and rock him to settle him but like fuck is any of that gunna work the child’s had nearly three hours sleep and any mum of children knows that’s more than most need. So I take him down to my room so he doesn’t wake his sisters and for the next 2.5 hours he is feeding on and off , playing , laughing , doing rolly pollys intermittently stopping to give me and/ or Chris a cuddle and a kiss. Everytime I go to take a photo he closes his beautiful big brown eyes because of the flash. (That’s chocolate dribble on his baby grow from after dinner FYI ) 
Finally at nearly 1am he’s looking tired  by this point I genuinely feel my milk makers are empty like completely the now remind me of deflated balloons that have stayed tied but shrivelled over time. Do for the first time in 19 months I put some expressed milk in a bottle and put him in bed with it. He settles and goes to sleep 2am comes and que G waking up for a drink waking B up in the process as instead of just going to the bottle next to her bed she has to scream like fuck until someone comes rushing to her rescue thinking she’s caught a limb in the slats under her mattress or something. Around 3am I finally settle off to sleep by this time on the verge of tears through pure exhaustion. 4.30am R is waking me up because she wants a cuddle (moments like this melt me) I give her a cuddle and send her on her way back to bed. 5am the small boy child wakes for a feed so I get up feed him and he goes back to sleep. At some point between 5.30-7am he woke for the day but chris got up with him to try let me sleep. 7am comes I get up and am in the worst mood imaginable because I’m so tired. I get up and am greater with the boy child coming for a cuddle swiftly followed by each one of the girls these cuddles in the mornings mean so much to me as when I sit and think about it who knows when they’re going to decide they’re to old to give mummy cuddles before doing anything else in the morning so I make the most of them and squeeze every ounce of love I have into my children. A who I’m still convinced is I’ll then tells me she knows I had a bad night with her sisters and so will be good and helpful and she is . The before school routine is pretty smooth even given the fact on Thursdays I take my friends little boy to school also (if you ignore mummy shouting occasionally after having to ask G to put her shoes on ten times or R to put her coat on fifteen thousand times) . 

Back from school run now only two children at home and this is when this mornings fun started (they have truly driven me insane in the last hour it doesn’t mean I love them any less though) 

The small boy child is screaming to get out of his buggy, which I was surprised he let me put him in this morning (he must of known mummy was not in the mood) because he wants some more milk and his breaskfast . So I get him out, feed him, make his and B’s coco pops and pop him down next to her so they can eat if only it was that simple . Nope I have no idea why but he’s decided they need to be all over my nice clean fucking floor and then he’s got upset about it (maybe he’s saving me the job of being upset about it) and having a tantrum. Wonderful, just wonderful ! So I pick them up and he calms down and sits and eats them. 

He finishes his breakfast and of course wants B’s I’m in the kitchen getting him some more and walk back in to him pulling her hair and her screaming with cereals everywhere (as I have mentioned before thank fuck for dry cereals) so I’m not breaking up a fight between a 19 month old and a 4 year old (after taking a couple quick snaps of course) how the fuck he is so small but winning this fight is beyond me but is pretty impressive as B is the loud , outspoken and “naughty” one. Not one other child in this house including A who is 8 have the balls to fight with her because she always wins. So it’s clear to me I should be proud the small boy child has got balls. 

I calm them both down B has some more cereals and tells me “mummy you’re fabulous I love you” melting my heart and making me forget about the last hour of stress, and the small boy child is demanding the milk makers…. again. 

So now I’m sat here feeding a coco pop covered small boy before changing his clothes and putting him to bed, while B is stood next to me with another box of cereals wanting more breakfast. So I can clean up my new fucking coco pop carpet ( and a random welly boot) I did not order, before maybe drinking my tea chris made me at 7am (it’s now 9.15am) and getting myself something to eat (if I’m lucky) 

I hope you enjoyed my morning more than I did. 

Much love 


A tear jerker and a shout out to the strongest most inspirational women I have ever met 

So I’ve just started blogging and mostly it’s been about my kids. This one however is about my best friend. The person that holds me up when I feel I’m crumbling , the person that wipes my tears when I feel I’m failing, the person that worries more about others than herself, the person that despite going through every parents worst nightmare still stands strong , stands tall and stands up. 

This is myself and Steph . Steph is an incredible human being and later in this blog you will see why I love her so much. 
So i’ll start at the beginning around 6.5 years ago I was in a hostel with my eldest daughter , my house had been broken into they had destroyed everything including all of my daughters things , her cot, toys , clothes the lot. I wasn’t bothered about my stuff but all of her memory box stuff was destroyed as well as her belongings. It was in the local paper and all sorts. I was on a bus one day and I heard “are you katie” from a young girl while I was admiring her beautiful baby in the buggy. So we got talking and she offered to help with things as we now had nothing. Added each other on Facebook and that was that I made a new friend. When I found out she had previously had beautiful twins born sleeping I wondered how the hell she functioned and was able to deal with that but I never asked, it was clear she was stronger than I think I would be in that situation and I didn’t want to bring it up and cause upset. Over the years we got closer sharing a mutual relationship with the children hospital as we both had poorly babies. Steph’s support was invaluable to me as she was there a lot with Harry as I was with Amie, but was a lot more knowledgable than I was with that side of things. We continued to chat regularly even if we weren’t in hospital with the kids and got to know each other better . Mainly over Facebook for about 18 months in total in which time I had, had my second child and Steph had, had Cody. 

Both Harry and Cody were very poorly little boys the had a skin condition called epidermolysis bullosa. This is a skin condition that causes the skin to blister the boys were covered in dressings to keep their blisters clean and free from infection. Children with this are often referred to as butterfly children as their skin is as delicate as a butterflies wings. You have to be so gentle and even cuddling them could cause blisters. They both ended up having tracheostomies because they’re wind pipes became blistered and their airways blocked. We talked more about our babies and got closer. I went on to have complications in my next pregnancy with Gabriella and had an emergency c section at 28 weeks steph was there for me whenever I needed to talk no matter what time of day or night. She helped me so much in that time . I was in awe of her strength and knowledge and still am. We would be up late at night while in different hospitals with our babies. Meet up if we were in the same hospitals and try to support each other (although I don’t think I’ve ever told Steph how invaluable her support was and how much it helped and very possibly saved my sanity). 

Gabriella came home around 18 weeks old and every day before that I spoke to steph she supported me through a massively scary nicu journey while having to provide around the clock specialist care for her own children. Gabriella came home tube fed as was Cody at the time. A friend of Steph’s had arranged a sponsored walk to raise money to get harry and electric wheelchair. There was no way I was missing this I wanted to help in anyway I could given how much I had grown to love Steph and the boys so I agreed to take part even if it meant taking a very small tube fed Gabriella in the buggy with me (which I ended up doing). I remember steph saying “I will bring Cody if he is well enough but if he pulls his tube out you’re re-passing it” as the slightest move wrong could cause blistering and I had, had to re-pass Gabriellas numerous times although steph had been trained she couldn’t bring herself to re-pass Codys tube understandably (luckily for me he didn’t need it redoing) lots of us did this walk and we raised enough to get Harry his wheelchair and more. I remember the day like it was yesterday. The link for the walk is here .. 


We had a party after and the boys were there Harry was dancing and holding Gabriella he loved her so much . 

I think that was the day I truly realised how much I loved and appreciated everything about Steph. How much she had done for us without a single groan, despite how much she had to do for herself and her sons. We started spending more and more time together and were inseperable from then on. 

We would go out with the children visit each other’s houses.

Picture below of Steph, Cody and Gabriella 

 Fast forward I found out I was pregnant again and was terrified (it turned out rightly so) again I ran into complications through my pregnancy and she was by my side for everything , sat with me in hospital taking photos of me in labour at 24 weeks, making fun of me, trying to take my mind off things while inside she was scared she didn’t once show it. (The birth of Billie is for another day) Steph was there when my baby was born and saw her before I did being wheeled away in her incubater while sat in the corridor unable to do anything but comfort Chris, as the moment Billie was delivered I was put to sleep and he was ushered out not knowing what was going on. I woke up in HDU and she was sat with me while Chris was pacing the hallways (as I told him he wasn’t aloud to be with me he had to be with Billie and they wouldn’t let him in to see her yet, but he didn’t want to upset me) and she stayed by side, cleaned up my vomit , listened to my slurred waffle about having to express and see my baby and re assured me. Again she supported me through every day of a very bumpy nicu ride without a single grumble about what she had to do everyday. Completely selflessly helping and holding me up. 

Billie was a few weeks old and Harry got poorly. We had been for dinner the night before and he was fine I was so confused when I got a call while with Billie saying she was on her way to hospital with him. I went to meet her at the hospital and didn’t expect him in all honesty to be as sick as he was. Harry got transferred to another hospital with a picu as he was a very very poorly boy meanwhile Cody got admitted to the hospital harry had just left to help with his day to day needs. With all this going on she still checked how Billie was, how I was and made sure I was ok (I may of lied about Billie being ok so as not to put more stress on her and got told off for that later down the line) Then Cody got sick too. She told me to stay with Billie not to worry Cody had people with him but I couldn’t and spent a couple of days hospital hopping as they were opposit one another (the hospitals I mean) again through all this she didn’t stop asking about how me and Billie were. 

On March 13th 2013 Harry passed away. Steph came back to hospital with Cody where he was worsening. Again still worried about how Billie was. On march 15th 2013 Cody went to be with his brother. Something no parent should ever ever experience Steph has experienced twice in 2 days, yet the stubborn mare still worried and checked regularly how me and Billie were. When it was discovered the boys had passed away from flu I wasn’t aloud in nicu to see Billie for an “incubation period” to which all Steph could do was apologise for. I promptly put her in her place and told her now is the time to stop worrying about us focus on you. Given everything you’ve already read do you think she listened? That’s right no , no she didn’t. The next few weeks steph had all sorts to sort and arrange and I was by her side as much as I could be she just kept saying “stop worrying about me focus on Billie” but she is my best friend of course I was going to worry. I helped with what I could and was there when needed (and when not needed to be honest lol) 

March 27th the day of Harry and Codys funeral it was a perfect celebration of their lives with butterflies and storm troopers everything you could imagine for the two most amazing boys I have ever met in my life. Hundreds of people turned up. After the day was done and everyone had left you won’t guess what she wanted to do . She wanted to come and visit Billie and so we did. People other than me and chris weren’t aloud to touch or hold Billie but an exception was made that day and Steph got her first cuddle with our tiny fragile girl. All the time all I could think was why is she worried about us despite everything she’s going through, but that’s the sort of incredible person she is. 

The next few weeks are a blur of emotions,  nicu , home , and re admission for Billie what I do remember clear as day is every day, every single day while I was trying my best to be there for Steph and juggle the children at home and Billie in hospital without fail she would offer any help she could. 

We continued to be as close as could be. Steph came on holiday with me and chris for his brothers wedding and Billies first birthday. She has attended every birthday party she can and is godparent to my children. 

When I found out I was pregnant with Isaac she was mad at me because she was worried about what happened with Billie happening again. Yet supported me throughout she attended a clinic in London with me along with my friend Vicky for specialist testing as my downs screening came back high and although my decision on keeping him wouldn’t of changed I needed to be prepared . She sat with me at hospital apts Chris couldn’t attend. Everytime I was rushed into hospital she was there and when I was admitted at 28 weeks until he was born she would come visit as often as she could, she bought me food, sat with me watching shit telly, while shouting at midwives about why they weren’t helping me. Our hospital dates were amazing watching TV shows like judge rinder, eating chocolate and sweets like an old married couple. She laughed at me sending her pictures of me in labour while she was in bed and not aloud on the ward because it was too late. She was the first person I called when he came into the world. Shes not once moaned because she’s an amazing person . She’s visited my children in hospital even when the hospital brings back harsh memories for her. She has traveled two plus hours on a bus to come and see me as she knows my anxiety prevents me from traveling that far with the children on my own. Again she has not moaned. She has faughy my corner in hospitals against, nurses and consultants wether to do with me or my children. 

We may not see each other everyday but we speak everyday, and she truly is my rock and I am (I hope) hers. 

This is just a small snippet of why I love this women so much and how incredibly strong  and selfless she really is. 

The saying is write every blond needs a brunett best friend and I’m so lucky to of found mine. She is an inspiration to everyone that’s met her and the strongest,  most caring person I have ever met and I’m so unbelievably lucky to have her in my life. 

So dear Steph thankyou for that day on the bus you have changed and bettered my life forever. I love you lots beautiful and hope your not crying to much reading this 😘 

With school comes NITS 

So a while ago I made a massive Facebook post about nits I figured I would share it with you guys (the nitty gritty company better appreciate this post) With four girls two with very long very thick hair it’s the bane of my life and possibly one of the worst common issues in schools. Yes they are harmless and every one gets them but children shouldn’t in my opinion become infested with them. Below is the post that was put on my personal Facebook and shared over 600 times (good to see people agree with me) 

This right here is a miracle invention .. However some parents are clearly unaware of how it works . It is called a nitty gritty comb and is fabulous it removes life and eggs from hair (although eggs sometimes struggle to get caught in it in very fine hair granted) we have three of these in my house. You can pick them up for under £10 and are much better than the cheap shit ones you get with most head lice solutions. Some schools and children’s centres give them away free. I personally think if I school find a child has head lice they should offer one to the parents, but some stupid ruling now says schools aren’t aloud to talk to individual parents about their child having them (fucking rediculous if you ask me who wouldn’t want to know their child has nits so they can sort the problem). 

I have four girls all with a fair amount of hair , and a baby boy and still am able to use it daily 

It’s simple really , Presuming you brush your children’s hair everyday before and after school .

Now here’s the steps for the people unaware of how simple this amazing contraption is .

You brush the hair as normal (presuming you brush your child’s hair) if you have boys with low maintence hair that’s to short to brush physically examine the hair, it shouldn’t be that hard to go through. 

Then just section it off and run the comb through it .. Any eggs or lice will be caught in it rinse the comb and repeat .. do this until the comb comes away Clear for each section. 

Or when you wash your child’s hair use the comb through the hair while the conditioner is still on again in sections and rinsing everytime .. 

There isn’t any need for expensive and nasty chemicals if caught early 

OMG I hear you say really is it that easy .. 

Yes , yes it bloody well is! And the really shocking thing … If it’s done everyday it is possible to not have head lice invading your poor child’s head or a massive outbreak of them in your child’s lovely hair .. 

Here’s some interesting facts .. If your child has one louse that louse can lay 3-5 eggs a day , they then take 7-10 days to hatch and a further 7-10 days to lay their own eggs .. Not long is it ?! However if you use this miraculous invention daily why would it get to that point ? 

While your not checking your child’s hair and your child is infested by its forever growing hair friend family think about the fact of how they survive . They eat blood granted tiny amounts but these crawling little shits are surviving off your child’s blood .. Now how does that make you feel?! 

When your child goes to school nursery or anywhere else where they may be passed on they then start eating other children’s blood and who’s fault is that not the child’s?!

It’s yours the parent that’s not preventing or trying to prevent this from happening ! 

A few things can be remedied from the simple instruction above on how to use this comb .

Firstly – your child isn’t frustrated by constantly scratching their head.. 

Secondly – They are less likely to be bullied because of bugs in their hair 

Thirdly – They aren’t having blood sucked out of them 

Fourthly – They aren’t passing them on allowing this awfully uncomfortable and crap situation for the child to carry on .. 
Now I’m not saying kids don’t get them I am saying the reason they do is because someone somewhere obviously is either too lazy or unaware of how simple it is to solve this . 

My kids have got them many times from schools nurseries etc, but I do not allow the cycle to carry on through my children , by removing any of these nasty little shits the day they get them .. It really is rather simple…. 

I run this comb through my girls hair most mornings before school and every evening if I’m not around to do it as I’m at work, chris does. 

I also use the nitty gritty prevention spray I’m not gunna lie it fucking stinks but hey if it helps it’s worth it. Below I shall post some useful links to help with treating nits just for those that are unaware of the best methods to do so. 




Oh and just for good measure here is a picture of one of the ugly fuckers I just pulled from my beautiful girls lovely blond hair . 


See you later for my after school blog . 


Side note: This blog is not aimed at anyone in particular it is just something that really fucking irritating